Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they have done, or could have had.

Sand's true colour is Orange

http://web.tickle.com/invite?test=1108&type=t

The Temptation Test

Sand, when it comes to temptation you're a Hedonist

It has become apparent that the word "no" is not one you use too often. In fact, it seems you just might have replaced it with "sure," "pour it on," and "I'll take it." As a Hedonist, you probably see no reason to put limits on pleasure. When the little angel of your conscience arrives on your shoulder to challenge your indulgent side, it's usually knocked off by that little devil who's never too far away from your decisions.It seems that extravagance to you is a way of life, not an isolated event. And discipline is a punishment that you choose not to employ — it's overrated anyway. All this good stuff is here for a reason, right? Someone's gotta have fun with it and you only live once!

Drawing of my Pig says tat:

http://www.freaknfunny.com/files/upload/draw-a-pig.swf

Toward the middle of the frame, you are a realist.

Facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly, and remember dates (birthdays, etc.)

With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With less than 4 legs, you are insecure or are living through a period of major change.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. You are a good listener.

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. You have a good sex life.

My stress level

http://www.sanriotown.com/psycho/psycho6/psycho6_us.htm

You are a serious person always able to control your temper.

Your stress level maintains in a balance level. Though if you deal with high stress, you will become quiet and fear your surroundings. For this type playing with pet will help you release the tension.

utterly disgusted by my cockroach mtv.. JERRY!!!! im gooonnnaaaa kill u for circulating it!!! January is coming!!! HnF ppl pls do something abt Jerry's bday!!!!!

it's 31st December 2005!!! looking back at my 2005.. loads of major ups n downs..
been thru graduation with moderate glory,
losing a fren and lately found her back,
losing my granny who will only stay in my heart from now on,
drifting contacts with ppl who were closer, wishing that i have more time for them in e past,
standing at the cross roads umpteen times pondering what to chose and where to go,
struggling with work and figures,
meeting great palz who get closer with each day yet also
meeting people who confused and then ignored me.

all in all, it's grow-up time with the closing of the year.


Sand is a Blue Sheep

You are Blue Sheep, who has a gentle and soft atmosphere.
You give favorable impression to many people.
You have inner strength, and give an impression of very intelligent person.
You are not cautious to opposite sex.
Although you don't push your point, you are very sociable and modest.
You also tend to be calm and will not yield in so easily.
You have strength not to show others your weakness.
You can objectively assess the other person's movement, and can tactfully make the situation favorable to you.
You can use this skill to help men be successful in life.
You can display your skill in drawing up a rational plan, but sometimes you take on things without much thought and regret it afterwards.
You should be careful about this.
You put great priority on economic side of everything.
You show interest in savings and can take good control of household budget.
Your stubbornness may affect your love.
But once you get along well, your relationship has a possibility of turning into heart-to-heart communication.
You are good at reading other people's mind and taking in charge of things.
You have weak point in maternal instinct.
After getting married, you tend to be over protected to your children, and may become obsessed with your children's education.

http://noracom.net/eng/fortune/color_cheki2.php

Your Birthdate: October 31

You're a pretty traditional person. If it's lasted, it's probably good. You seek stability - both in your career and your romantic relationship. In return, you're very loyal and predictable. Which is usually a good thing. Without a partner, you feel lost. Being with someone is very important to you. Your strength: Your dependability Your weakness: You hate being alone Your power color: Midnight blue Your power symbol: Shell Your power month: April

always in a dilemma that is never within ability to solve. wonder how the year will end and how it will begin. a new year means new hopes but where am i heading? as usual im lost and confused. am i spoilt with choices? i hope not...

anyway it's resolutions time... my resolution is to keep to my old resolutions haha.. makes no sense... mine shall be a mystery.. perhaps even a mystery to myself

for now.. im praying hard that Will's dad will be safe and sound and relieve off the suffering as soon as possible


ohaiyo!!! back from China SHanghai and Shantou!!! so glad that im back, home is still the best place! in fact im back on thurs at ungodly 530am!!! cuz we decided to take a midnight flight back!! super cant tahan the coldness in Shantou where the rooms are without heaters even at a temp of 30 degrees celsius! must be they purposely tekan auditors la.. anyway shall not bitch about them too much afterall they played pretty good host by bringing us to seafood restuarants everyday. Comparatively, i feel much more comfortable in Shanghai than in Shantou probably cuz the client in Shanghai is much friendlier and can communicate betta. In Shantou, is very much about socialising and drinking, dun really enjoy such kind of entertainment.. Though i enjoyed their cold lame jokes about language and dialects.

Seen a stark contrast betwen Shanghai and SHantou. Shanghai of cuz is much more developed and with all the billboards and crowded streets that resemble Orchard Rd. People there well.. no comments.. typical cheena la though better than those in the capital.. hee.. have always heard that Shanghai males are typical family men and superbly nice, but i dun seem to share the sentiments cuz of the guys i see along the streets who seem to have glib tongues instead of a loyal heart. Anyway.. in Shantou, i see the less fortunate community living in dilapidated buildings that are in need of refurnishing and changing of pipes and major clean up at their doorsteps. Was feeling very fortunate that my hometown is Spore and Sporeans are just too spoilt by choices and comfort. I dun enjoy seeing beggers going up next to every driver on the road just to earn a few cents but that's just how life is in the backward states. Just how pampered Sporeans are esp the yuppies and onwards who have no experience of e toughest lives of our elders. Anyway it's not preaching time but just some general thoughts i have after the trip.

Many others went through my mind and i even wrote them down like a diary every night. Not that i was slacking but staying in e room all by myself, i have some quiet time to recollect myself and think things through. Life was slightly better than in Spore while on job cuz most had been completed in Spore and so 30% was left to be done in China.. Jo could tell that i enjoyed vouching and i was much happier in China than in Spore but that only painted the first few days of my trip. Life is nvr smooth sailing and subsequently hiccups began to surface but life still goes on. Was driven to the wall but managed to bounce back. Ugly thoughts went through my mind but i sifted them off. Thanks for all the well wishers who sms n called to encourage me and catch up a while with me. Tho X, will not mind paying cuz u guys meant well. But then if u wanna share the cost, i wouldnt reject too.. hehe

can we claim OT with this evidence?


Take a peep at the service apartment i stayed in Shanghai.. almost the size of a 3-rm flat here and...

... a walk-in wardrobe...

...with a living room...


... and a balcony with splendid view


not too bad a room in fact esp the walk-in wardrobe.. Didnt take any pics for the roomin Shantou.. hated the room so much that i cant stand any single minute in the room cuz it's just too COLD...

managed to take some time off in the weekend to shop around and grabbed some cheapo stuffs


Taken with the xmas lightings at Xu Jia Hui which is similiar to the Orchard Road and Clark Quay filled with shopping malls and classy restaurants and pubs.. my client said EY hired child labour.. Grrr... compliment or sarcasm.. shall not speculate


Taken with the coffee machine at client's place

Rest of photos still with Ryan.. cuz my camera went bust during the trip..guess it's time to change a new one.. that reminds me.. my hp is still on the waitlist... shheessshhh

No commets as to whether i will want to have anymore China jobs... time will tell



leaving on a jet plane to shanghai tmr morning.. will be back on 23rd the latest though mgr said hopefully by wed we can finish and pull out n return earlier.. keeping my fingers crossed for that.. i enjoy travelling but this time round is a different experience in a different mood.. not expecting much happy moments there cuz of work BUT i shall not stuck myself in this vicious cycle and terrible feeling for the next 2 weeks. So many ppl have been showering concern over me, i really appreciate them and thanks to all the dearies who have taken the effort to cheer me up..will miz u guys.. thanks yang for shopping with me today tho u are not feeling well too, thanks yy for delivering the cushion to make me feel comfy, at least u make my night a happier one, hugs to eng orh for listening to me bitching alot about my work, almost everyone have the same thought after bitching haha.. and alot others like darling, mh, pris, wai feng, see yun and many more.. thanks a million.. u guys know where u stand in my heart.. hugz and kisses.. as such i wont let u ppl down.. will stay happy and as darling said she wanna see the chirpy sand back 2 weeks later.. i will do it!

and hopefully all of you all will take good care esp when it's year end n weather is chilly most of the time... most of all stay happy always!! catch ya for xmas meals! sms me all the updates k, it will still be 5cents per sms same as local sms la.. haha .. and hope to hear good news from kelvin n darling for their auditions today! ganbatte!! u 2 have good voices that ought to be discovered!! cant be there to support but will be spiritually supporting from china

adieus!


finally had some time to catch a breather after 1.5 weeks of battling with time against deadlines and with myself over the tonnes of work awaiting the lost Sand. wonder when will the usual Sand be back. at least not for the coming weeks?? dun wanna and dun dare to speculate. only know that i should buck up and do something about myself. instead of breaking down, i should be doing some constructive things. but on hindsight, though i slept for only 3 hours last nite after the break down, i became more productive today and felt the spur to finish work. haa.. may seem silly to cry but it does relieve stress.

celebrated my belated bday with Yang on sat at greg's godma house which is like our mini chalet and best of all it's FREE!! haha.. thanks a million to Greg for provding us the premise and organizing them. Have yet gotten the photos but shall not pose alot cuz they are not for public viewing for some.. esp the mtv.. haha and to Jerry - if you happen to be reading this or ya gf passes u this msg.. do rem, will think of ways to organize a memorable one for ya even though we have to bring it forward. Not too far away, it's just next month u know. Haaa Dun forget we have a committee in HnF, the games com.. u r in for it!! Bleah


my day has just ended while the sun about to rise in another hour time .. how shud i summarise it.. or rather e entire week is indescribable.. but in short mixed feelings over everything - work, emotions and IP.. sometimes reallie feel like an utter idiot who thinks simple and slowly or perhaps it's the other way round - i think too much and slows down e pace of my life.. it's yet another mixed feelings ... i wish they will end soon

back from usual ktv n this wk we had durians at geylang at 2plus am and talk kork(whichever spelling la as long as it delivers e msg) session.. tho i ended work at abt 10plus and gotta made Mouse to wait for me, the gathering kinda even out all bitterness for e day.. but to b frank the bitterness still lingers till now and probably over e weekends n into e following wks to come i hope e learning curve is getting gentler as e day goes by and progress is picking up when it comes next week.. which means this weekend gotta do extra work n be more conscientious.. *i hope i can* *fingers crossed* looking at e schedule i cant faint but to buck up!

well i was shocked tat YC tendered today and it was a sudden one that not only shocked me but im amazed too. It was not because of his own inerestes that's why he left but for other people's. The sacrifice he made is indeed great and shows the tantamount seriousness he has with his gf or rather fiancee. A man of wisdom and forward-looking is the YC i know and im sad to see him leave. Things have finalised and shall wish him all the best in his future endeavours and his marriage.. Be sure to attend his wedding if there's invitation haha.. and must get him to pick some durians back.. haha.. Perhaps we can organize a trip to M'sia during the lull period.. will KIV that

was driven to tears during e ktv session just now cuz of e parting songs n songs that portrays friendships n life.. tried v hard to fight back e watertap while singing Fen Xiang but can nvr attach as much feelings to this song as tonight bcuz of YC's leaving and Mouse will b leaving for China next wk too. Though his departure is only a week, it's his first business trip and there's really a heap to learn along the way especially in a foreign land, things can get v overwhelming so much that taking a smooth breath is a tough task. Getting overly emotionally attached to FTB. Source of motivation to work is from FTB. Reason not to tender stems from FTB (kinda) and source of true friendships is from FTB too (not to say my other friendships are not true hor.. dun wanna offend anyone over here.. i still treasure all friends) But just to emphasize that working life is not as scheming, boring and full of barb wires everywhere. Work can be sucky but working partners cant b as bad. Be nice to everyone along the way and u dun stand to lose at all.. so long as everyone is happy!!

分享时间已做了选择
什黱人叫做朋友
偶而碰头心情却能一点就通
因为我们曾有过理想类似的生活
太多感受绝非三言两语能形容
可能有时我们顾虑太多太多
决定需要我们去选择
担心会犯错 难免会受挫
幸好一路上有你陪我

与你分享的快乐 胜过独自拥有
至今我仍深深感动
好友如同一扇窗能让视野不同
与你分享的快乐 胜过独自拥有
至今我仍深深感动
好友如同一扇门让世界(变)开阔

it's Veron's bday on mon.. celebrated in advance today.. Happy Birthday, Gal!!
Gonna have a belated celebration for me with HnF gang later.. i wonder if i can wake up on time.. seems like i gotta bring work to Greg's hse.

31 Oct 83
sandinas@hotmail.com

blabbers

DarLinks

Angel
Dar
Darren Yang
Eng Teck
Eunice
Greg
Hans
Hari
Joyce
Kang Wei
Li Ping
Limin
Mei Xuan
Miao
Parrot
Sebastian
Shirley
Silent Boi
YY
TKS
Wanxin
Weiming
Wei Ting
Yanru
Zheng Zhong