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Saturday, December 30, 2006 7:20 PM

Fear of losing is overpowering. This fear has resulted in too much disappointment and is not a good sign. Growing reliance of this fear causes withdrawal symptoms. My worry proved unheard and not reciprocated. Maybe because I never communicated my fear well to get it across with the intended meaning. But everything is inherent and ought to be a kind of self-understood. Am I bad at communicating or is the person not responsive and attentive (or shud i say sensitive) enough? Whatever I said dun hold water and it will never be. They do not stay in anybody's heart to serve as a reminder. There is no punch in any comemnt i made. Maybe I should have kept quiet all these while which I have began to do so.

ever thought about how life will be after losing someone dear? isit a world of darkness or a sense of relief for u? if it's the latter, perhaps u might need some mental therapist now upon imagining the scenario. perhaps thats a sign that true love is yet to settle upon u. true love here doesnt point to that between a guy n a girl but just innocent ones with your family and fellow friends. yet again, finding true love is not a good sign cuz the fear of losing begins to set in subsequently. that's when one may feel that it's better not to sink into the complicated love-hate relationships. remember, these relationships can refer to innocent family love, frienships and platonic love for friends. Will that discourage you from stepping further to know someone more, care more for this special one. it's not easy for a scorpio like me to place full trust and faith in everyone. in fact it can take ages cuz i tend to think too much, not skeptical but just somehow the fear of getting hurt is stronger. it's a struggle to handle such dilemma. How i wish i can stay out of this circle of trust so that everything is as simple as it appears to be. That is equivalent to me being a cold, heartless and emotionless earthling and anyone who is like this scares me off. I enjoy the closeness and emotional changes but i fear losing them. As a result there may be some invisible string to pull me back once things get slightly overboard. It's a major problem i experience and im still working on it. just like how i can take longer time to place faith in others, i will take slightly longer time to rectify myself. some random rumbling yet true reflection.




SaNdRa/ sAnd/ PaRRot 2

31 Oct 83
sandinas@hotmail.com

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